Personal Notes & Cards

A simple, sincere note letting someone who is grieving know that others are thinking of them is never inappropriate. Don’t try to make sense of their loss. Avoid phrases like “I know how you feel.” Simply express your sadness to hear of their loss, and your sympathy for what they are going through. Cards are appropriate, and some faith traditions have special remembrance cards that can be sent as well.

Flowers

Flowers may be sent to the funeral home, or to the family’s home. Here are some suggestions on how to order an appropriate floral tribute.

To the Funeral Home

• An Easel Spray is a floral composition constructed on a floral foam base and placed in a tripod stand. They make a striking tribute from family members, business associates, and groups of people ordering flowers together. Appropriate for wakes, funerals and memorial services, but not to the family’s home.
• A Cross is formal tribute made up of flowers, foliage or moss covering a cross-shaped base with a ribbon swag or cluster of fresh flowers at the center. Favored by religious groups, they may also be sent by family members, business associates or groups of people ordering together. Appropriate for wakes, funerals and memorial services, but not to the family’s home.
• A Fireside Basket is a floral composition—usually one-sided—arranged in a low-handled wicker basket that is often placed on the floor near the casket. They make a striking tribute from family members, business associates, and groups of people ordering flowers together Appropriate for wakes, funeral and memorial services, but not for sending to the family’s home.
• A Mache [say: Ma-shay] Basket is a large floral composition—usually one-sided—of fresh flowers and foliage. sent by family members, business associates or groups of people ordering together. Appropriate for wakes, funerals and memorial services, but not to the family’s home. Often taken to the cemetery after the visitation.

To the Funeral Home OR to the Family’s Home

• Another type of floral tribute is the Table Arrangement. These are floral pieces made to sit on a side table at the funeral services, Vased for a more contemporary look, or placed in a basket for a traditional, country-type style, a table arrangement may also be sent to the family’s home at the time of death or in the month thereafter.
• Green plants—singly, or in dish gardens (an assortment of smaller plants) are often accented with fresh flowers.
• Seasonal blooming plants are appropriate. Tell the florist your price range, and ask for suggestions.

Memorial Donations

Some families will suggest in the obituary that those desiring make a contribution either to a charity or service group with whom the deceased was active. Others will simply mention that a donation to the “charity of one’s choice” would be appreciated.

Below is an alphabetical listing of Frederick non-profits who would be grateful for a memorial donation, and who will send an acknowledgement of your gift—without reference to the amount—to the family. Put the name of the deceased on your check’s memo line, and enclose the name and address of the person to whom you would like your gift acknowledged.

Arc of Frederick County, Inc.
Provides advocacy, access to resources, assistance in increasing individual and family competencies, and community connections for people with developmental disabilities.

Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Frederick County
Provides community and school-based mentoring to children who have academic, social and mental health problems due to growing up in a dysfunctional family.

Catholic Charities of Frederick County
Provides affordable, individual, family, couples, individual and child counseling and school based services in Emmitsburg, Frederick, Mount Airy, and Brunswick

Community Foundation
Helps people fulfill their charitable dreams by establishing charitable funds, which support scholarships to deserving students and grants to Frederick County charities.

Frederick County 4-H Therapeutic Riding Program, Inc.
Provided therapy, education, recreation and socialization to mental, physical and emotionally disabled individuals, through the use of horses at no charge.

Community Living, Inc
Provides residential services to adults with developmental disabilities in Frederick County, Maryland.

Frederick County Crisis Pregnancy Center, Inc.
Offers alternatives to abortion by supporting individuals facing unintended pregnancy through free medical, emotional, practical and spiritual help.

Frederick County Mental Health Association, Inc.
Provides child abuse prevention services, 24-hour hotlines, child care provider training and referrals, sliding scale counseling services, community and parent education and court-appointed special advocates.

Friends for Neighborhood Progress, Inc.
Provides food, shelter, medical care, housing and other services, to low-income and homeless families/individuals.

Habitat for Humanity of Frederick County, MD
Provides simple, decent, affordable homes to families in need.

Hospice of Frederick County
Provides compassionate care to patients and their families facing a terminal illness.

National Alliance on Mental Illness of Frederick County, Inc.
Provides information (help line, brochures, newsletter), education (classes, public education), and support (calls and groups) to persons with mental illness and their families.

Religious Coalition for Emergency Human Needs
Provides emergency financial assistance in Frederick County, including food, rental assistance, and health care, and operates a homeless shelter.

United Way of Frederick County
Provides support to children and families through emergency services and Health education, and serves those with disabilities through 22 partner agencies.

Memory Bears & Quilts

A very intimate and personal way to honor the passing of an individual is to have a keepsake bear or quilt made from clothing or items that belonged to them. There are many companies online who perform this service. Most are handmade, and many will embroider the bear or quilt with messages that are meaningful to you or the intended recipient.